Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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