It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
