My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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