just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
