just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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