bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Can you bring me the toilet please
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
