Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
That accounts for only three of the penises
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
