And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
