Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
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