Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
