Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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