tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
