Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
