I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize