I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think I died a long time ago.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
