I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
