4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
