I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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