You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
