just tell him i said nine months
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
