Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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