Whod you bang
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
