The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
