RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
