She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
