used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
