When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
