Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
