Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
