Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
