He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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