Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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