just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He's a Shit stain on my heart
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
