why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Who died my cat blue again?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize