Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
