Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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