so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
