we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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