ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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