On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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