I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
