'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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