People in love make me want to vomit
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
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Do I have a choice?
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An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
