You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
