I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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