Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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