the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
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