If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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