I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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