You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
