sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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