Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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