I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
