i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize