Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
