Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
