sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
