I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
