Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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