Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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