Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
