how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize