Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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