I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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