like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
